And you know why I did? 2 reasons.
1. So I could keep up with all of you twitter heifers who only tweet about the Bachelor every Monday night.
2. So I could read the hilarious recaps every week written by Sheaffer from Pinterest Told Me To and actually know what she's referencing. Seriously these are the best posts ever.
So I start from the beginning and immediately think, "Hey. Kaitlyn seems like a cool chick. I could totally be bffs with her. And we could double date, as long as she gave me one of the hotties. Like one of the Bens. Or Shawn B.
I was totally feeling Shawn B, for Kaitlyn or for me, during the San Antonia day date. Loved him.
And Nick? Hated him. Totally not fair for him to be coming in mid-season. Nobody needed to hear about their "private time" coughcough. Be honest, hearing the moans totally grossed you out too, didn't it?
But time went on. Shawn became jealous and mumbly (it's a word now) and kind of annoying to be honest.
And Nick became totally adorable and I finally thought, "he's perfect for her". The morning after their night together was so sweet and I became Team Nick. Even though I wanted to be Team Shawn.
And then the finale came and lasted for hours and hours and I was struggling to stay awake. And Nick was perfect with the family. And I was like "they are the cutest couple".
And then the rose ceremony and you can totally see it in her face, and Nick keeps talking, and I want to be like, "Nick, honey, please just stop." But he can't, and finally she just puts her hands on him to keep him from proposing.
And then I get sad. And angry. And heartbroken for poor Nick. This is twice he's been through this. And she totally led him on. And the editors and producers totally led the viewers on because we all thought Nick was the one.
As WhyHiTy said, "Rebound this way, Nick." Any my heart breaks even more for Nick. Poor guy.
I adored Nick. Rebound this way, stud. #TheBacheloretteFinale— tyler. (@WhyHiTy) July 28, 2015
And I'm glad my bff found love with Gosling look-alike, Shawn, but my heart hurts for Nick.