Monday, May 11, 2015

I'm a Mess

Real talk. Serious post, today. I'm a mess.

Do you ever feel like you're going absolutely crazy? Like you're swimming and swimming but just can't stay afloat? Like you're teetering on the edge of a cliff?

Every couple of months, I feel like I'm losing it. Losing my grip on life.

I feel sorry for myself.

I cry for hours. Ugly cry. For hours.

I get anxious and struggle for my breath.

Nothing anyone says or does triggers it or helps calm me down.

That was me yesterday. And I can feel the after-effects of it today. Headache. Puffy eyes. Super puffy eyes. I feel like I'm hungover. But not from alcohol. From emotion.

It comes from nowhere, lasts a few hours or even a full day, and then leaves.

And I'm stuck feeling absolutely nuts.

I've done this for years. I don't know why. I don't know how to stop it. I can feel myself fall into this dark little hole, but can't climb out. I'm fully aware, but no matter how much I try, I can't snap out of it and be my usual spunky, sassy self.

But give it a few hours. Give me a day or two. And I'm back to normal. "My" normal, anyway.

I have NO idea why I decided to share this today. I told myself this blog was only going to be fun and snarky and sassy. No downers or sad stuff or emotional stuff here. But something weighed on my heart this morning to share. To share my last 24 hours of "crazy". So here it is.

2 comments:

  1. Sending you some hugs girlfriend. I know nothing I can say will make these feelings going away or make things better, but know that I'm thinking of you!! xo

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  2. Yep. I go through this on about the same cycle as you do. Feeling all of that right now. Hang in there.

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